Thursday, Feb. 11, 2010

Pod Picks for February 11, 2010

These days, you can't spit in any direction without hitting one of Tiger Woods' mistresses or one of Governor Mark Sanford's sound-bites dealing with his estranged wife or his Argentinian soul mate. And who would have thought that a presidential candidate would not only have a love-child with his mistress but a sextape to diagram how the love-child got here? With so many transgressions coming from so many respected figures in society, we thought it was only right to dedicate this week's Pod Picks to three giants of cheating.

"Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood

This one goes out to Tiger. It fits perfectly except for the Louisville Slugger - it was a three wood that Tiger's wife used on his four-wheel drive Escalade. There is even a line about a bleach-blond getting frisky. The next time Underwood sings this live she should do it with a Swedish accent in tribute to Tiger's soon to be ex-wife, Elin.

"Not Gonna Cry" by Mary J. Blige

We're willing to bet that this song from the girl power movie "Waiting to Exhale" is already programmed in Jenny Sanford's iPod. For a woman who dedicated her adult life to her husband and his political career, these lyrics are an awesome match. Blige belts out, "Besides the kids I have nothing to show...Wasted my years, a fool of a wife...I was your lover and your secretary...Helping you get on your feet...Years of sacrifice...Swallowed my fears, stood by your side...I shoulda left your ass a long time ago." The only difference is Jenny did leave his ass.

"It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy

Nobody has been better at saying, "It wasn't me" than John Edwards. He has been a champion of deception for years now. Not only repeating this credo to the public and his devoted supporters but also deceiving his wife who just happens to have cancer. While he was lying to everyone, including Oprah - really, who lies to Oprah? - he was making one of his closest aides take full responsibility for his actions with his mistress and his child. But choosing a suitable song to describe Edwards' predicament was difficult. The close second was "Creep" by TLC and the distant third was "Shit, Damn, Motherfucker" by D'Angelo which didn't fit lyrically but was definitely a more emotional response to Edwards' actions.